Jeong-min Park, a sophomore student at Korea International School (KIS), started a campaign called “Change Your Chocolate” on March 20. The campaign’s objective is to reduce the amount of child labor involved in chocolate production in Africa. As part of the committee for the National Honor Society of KIS, Park raised money for the children who were not getting enough education due to child labor.
Park learned about the child labor dilemma in a Times magazine when she was in the 6th grade. She said, “As a huge chocoholic, I was shocked at the child labor that goes into the production of chocolate. Although people from all over the world consume over 3 million tons of chocolate every year, most of them are not aware of the bitter truth behind their sweet treat. I think it’s a great shame.”
After being shocked by this new fact, as she entered the National Honor Society of KIS, she decided to carry out a campaign within our school by selling the chocolates that are clearly made without child labor (by using only qualified adult workers). In order to prevent further child labor, she is using the fund in an effective manner.
Park said, “By purchasing fair trade chocolate, consumers are boycotting farmers who exploit child workers, and supporting fair trade farmers who say ‘No’ to child labor.” For a very beneficial objective, many students in KIS bought both white and dark chocolates in order to raise money.
The money that was gathered through the sales at school went directly to the fair trade farms in Peru through an organization called The Beautiful Store. The Beautiful Store acts as a passageway to deliver money to Africa or other countries to help the children. Park said, “This money makes it possible for children to go to school, and for workers to live in a healthy environment.”
In order to continue raising awareness, Park, the leader of this Change Your Chocolate Campaign, is planning on continuing the campaign. “There will be another NHS fair trade chocolate sale in the future, and I hope to raise more awareness of the issue and to spread the campaign to the elementary and middle schools as well.”
Hey Yaerin this is an interesting article! I really like how the article was quote driven. Good job 🙂
Hey Yaerin,
This is an amazing cause!
I think it’d have been nice if you had included information on how people could join the cause–I’d love to spread awareness about this at my school, too! (:
As for the article, I do like how it’s quote-driven, but quotes should be used to convey points you can’t while staying objective (ex. the first quote in the article).
The information in the second and third quotes could have been summarized by you; their being in quotes doesn’t add anything to the article.
Also, they’re quite long–you should put the attribution after the first quoted sentence to break them up and make them a little easier to read!
It would’ve also been nice if you had written about how successful it was, and what other students’ reactions to the campaign were.
Overall, good job (and good choice of subject!) ^^
Hi there!
Excellent article, and a very excellent subject!
If I were you, try to be less wordy; as I read through your article, I couldn’t help but want a summary of brief points.
Try to include less detail, but be just as informative.
It’s a hard balance, I know, but you can do it!
Good job!
Hi Yaerin, what an interesting story. The headline instantly grabbed my attention (i mean, it had the word “chocolate” in it) and the lead was great too. You have a good inverted pyramid structure; the quote-paragraph-quote-paragraph format worked out nicely. Once thing I would suggest it getting quotes from an outsider (for example, teacher, advsiors, administrator) who could give another perspective to this story. It would make the story more persuasive. Also, please let the reader know how they can help too. This is a great cause!